Loooong day

Exhausted!

I went straight to the darkroom after a full day’s work and stayed there till ten. not a good afternoon. first, revive was shut – there went my dinner plans – and when I got to uni our group’s box of photo paper was nowhere to be found. after waiting 20minutes for our tutor to arrive one guy piped up that he’d found a box yesterday and stashed it under the table in the super darkroom (WHY???? HOW WOULD ANYONE FIND IT THERE? apart from whoever left it there – obviously working yet didn’t mark off the sheets they used on the cover).

after two hours i finally managed to make one large print, and i rushed through a second one, which i printed twice. the first one i failed to align properly and only took up about 2/3 of the paper, plus like a dumbass I left my neg sheet lying on the board which covered a corner of the shot (further reducing its final size, once i crop). i printed a second one, which almost filled the sheet, but i bumped it while exposing making it blurry and useless. gah! and to top it all off, in my hurry to make the 10pm bus i left my negs in the darkroom. hopefully i’ll be able to pick them up over the weekend, or they’ll no doubt get lost on monday while i’m at work and everyone else is shut up in there printing like mad.

so, though i’m almost ready to kill myself, it was weirdly satisfying to stay that late working on my portfolio – once you really get into something, food and water and sleep fade in importance. good practice for working to deadline next year,

Got on the bus home, a guy from work was on there and started talking to me. Took me awhile to recognise him which was a bit embarrassing, especially given I don’t recall his name.

of course, i really should be in bed by now, but i’ve been up so long i’m no longer tired. although, my skin has been going haywire – super dry cheeks and itchy forehead, plus the strange rash type thing I had a few months back. i think i’ll put it down to stress or something and just ride out the next few weeks.

I’ve always dismissed the idea of being a freelancer. Freelancers are flakey, insecure, don’t get benefits. I didn’t think I would have the discipline to get anything done if I didn’t go into an office every day. But writing for Verve and Cafe Philosophy this year has shown me that i could, in fact work from home. It would be really  nice in some ways. No more rushing around in the mornings or waiting for buses that are invariably late.

I’ve been finding it hard to draw the line between advertorial and editorial. Writing my Unitec story for example. But I think an easy way to look at it is to see if there are any news values. Ie, writing about Unitec if it was just opening, vs what I wrote about the courses it offers (a year on) – basically a plug for them

I was freaking out not long ago about being 20. Two entire decades. But at some point I realised that I have plenty of time. The general plan is to work for a couple of years, then go overseas once the boy gets qualified (he’d be a couple of years behind me) and then work/travel for a year or two. then, in theory, come home and hopefully be able to buy some sort of place to live in. By then I’d still only be in my late 20s – not even 30. Pleeeenty of time

Bless you New Zealand

I’m so glad we have ACC and a national health system.

I would not want to live in a country where you’re terrified to go one week without health insurance and you couldn’t afford it on your own without your employer subsidising it. I would not want to be rushed to hospital and get sent a $7,000 bill a week later.

I read today in the New York Times about a woman was afraid to get pregnant as it would cost eight grand to have a baby.

That being said once I get into the workforce I plan to get health insurance, assuming its affordable either thru work or through T’s work (lucky bastard gets free insurance and cheap insurance for family). It’s just one of those things it’s good to have, and one of those things you want to get while you’re still healthy and while it’s still cheap.

Crappy work situation

Things are kinda depressing at the moment. The boy has been going to work and regularly getting sent back home (about half the time). There’s just no jobs happening at the moment, and if no one’s contracting them, he’s got no work to do. Having your income almost halved is somewhat inconvenient.

What can we do? Could try and find another job. It sure wouldn’t be in the same field – it’s dead out there (except possibly in the South). Could spend this time retraining and go into IT or something. the reason we’re trying to stick it out, and have been for months, is he’s due to start his apprenticeship. or he was about four months ago, but with all the upheaval of staff apprenticeships have definitely fallen into the ‘not a priority’ category. Apparently it will right itself after New Year, and things will be back on track and he can start getting accredited, but that’s still a bloody long time away. Another 10 weeks of going in only to be told to go home, and do nothing. Thank Christ Monday was a stat holiday.

It would be ideal if he could do some kind of odd jobs on the days he has off. Still thinking on that one…

The dating scene

I’m so incredibly glad I don’t have to date. Going through the whole dating process sounds like hell on earth. I just can’t be bothered. Talking about yourself and rehashing the same old stories and facts over and over, pretending to listen to people who really don’t interest you but it’s only the start of the night, getting dressed up and going out on weeknights when you just want to slouch in bed in your robe with a bowl of chili and Outrageous reruns on the telly.

By the way…is it weird that I sleep in my dressing gown a lot?

It’s so pink, soft and incredibly fluffy. I just never want to take it off once I have it on.

long weekends

How I love long weekends. Why can’t Labour Day be every other Monday?

Right now I should be studying for intercultural, seeing as I am spending my entire study week working. But I think I’ll just ramble on here for a bit first.

I had the best intentions for the weekend. I put my numbers into my budget program, came up with money left over which I figured could go toward minor car repairs or just fun stuff for the long weekend.

Well, car and warrant didn’t eventuate – some people just don’t want to take responsibility for owning their own car. So I’m not even going to try. We went to Sylvia Park on Saturday, wandered around, bought lunch, stopped by Ollies for dessert and then went home when the boys proceeded to take off and play CS at some netcafe.

Sunday we finally got around to finishing off the front door. The boy didn’t do the best of jobs, seeing as all the front door putty had gone disgustingly dry and nasty and really needed a fix up. But painting helped a lot and although its now too late to reputty hopefully more painting will help even it out. Painting is fun! Should we ever buy a house and have to DIY it might not be so bad after all. Had delicious Chinese for dinner but oh-so-salty; i was in agony all night. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a thirst like that. Nothing satisfied. Water least of all. I was seeing visions of cold, frosted cans of Fresh Up.

Today we FINALLY used my rewards dollars and went to a movie. Boy was hungry so bought him greasy nasty stuff from the foodcourt for lunch. Max Payne was…unique. Nonsensical. But I was glad to see a girl who kicked ass in a kickass way, not going about doing so half naked or looking immaculate – in fact she looked pretty haggard at times. Refreshing.

And today was meant to be Tip Top $1 scoop day. I found out online which dairies (very few) were participating and we managed to find the Glen Eden one. Assholes tried to wriggle out of it – apparently the “people” had called them and said to do it next week rather than this week. I THINK NOT! It was in black and white on the website – honour your frickin word for fricks’ sake. Anyways so we got some decent cookies and cream cones for $1 each and I was happy. Just annoys me – I mean when you advertise a deal like that, you should bloodly well adhere to it.

Also planning to go see a movie on Wednesday (Watties Cans Festival!) if i can get a ticket. Didn’t realise they went on presale – I was counting on buying them on the day. Also super keen to see Nightmare before Christmas in 3D (only at Albany and Manukau though). Will be hideously expensive (today was the first movie I recall going to since, like, Iron Man) but I guess we’ll make a day of it as there’s a restaurant in Albany I want to try.

So I was scared to check my account balance and do the fiddling/transferring of funds that i do every week. And rightly so. All that extra money spent on food added up – oh, and that belt the boy needed halfway through our day. Weekends always turn my planning to shit. And long weekends even more so.

I guess it’s just really hard to be earning and have to accept that your money isn’t really your own. After all the things that need to be paid are paid, there isn’t much left over, but you feel you work hard and you’re entitled to spend something on yourself.

It’s not so hard for me seeing as I’ve never really had much disposable income. Although I have fewer expenses – less debt, no car, so no car payment or subsequent costs – I make less. I’m used to not being able to buy makeup, to put off buying shampoo as long as I can, or skincare, or to plan for my next batch of contacts, or to not buy flu meds or go to the doctor, because that throws everything out of whack.

Right now I’m trying to organise my new glasses but it keeps falling down my list of priorities. I thought I had found the perfect frames but now I’m have second thoughts. I really like them but I’m not sure if they are right for ME, plus they are a little long in the legs.

Still, I wouldn’t be wearing them more than like half the time at the most. But I think I’ll wait till exams are over and I have my freelance cheque safely banked.

twilight

it really bites to have a book you love continue, as a series, and watch it go downhill.

i heard about the twilight series pretty late, long after they’d been rereleased with their pretty new covers and stephenie meyer’s name was getting big. i remember loading a story about her from the HoS and the name vaguely sticking with me. then one day i was in whitcoulls browsing, waiting for the hour when my bus would come. i spotted a book with a black cover, a girl’s hands holding a red apple, titled twilight.

so i picked it up, realising it was the book from the article, and flipped through…read a few pages, not particularly expecting much, and was hooked. not that that says much, everyone who knows me knows i have somewhat unsophisticated literary tastes. but from that day anytime i had a spare half hour or so i popped into the store and read a bit of the book. i made it all the way through to breaking dawn, which i’ve nearly finished.

the series has its faults. the description is at times laborious and unoriginal. but as i’m a skimreader i normally glide over those parts anyway. her writing from other viewpoints isn’t all that great. i really didn’t like the sections told by jacob, ie, a huge chunk of breaking dawn.

as the series got more fantastical and far fetched, i started to like it less, but i had to keep reading. knowing there were more books meant i had to read them ALL, no matter what.

i’m not sure what it is exactly about the series. i guess i’m just a hopeless romantic. although personally i would have gone with jacob, the much more earthy, fierce choice. i could never understand exactly why bella liked the whole cold, hard, pale thing in edward.

for a couple who were mean to have this deep undying love for each other, it seemed pretty shallow at times. all she ever said was about how impossibly beautiful he was. that and the fact that he was far far too good for her, and she could never understand why he was with her.

the secondary characters are really something, i’m envious of their powers. that’s probably the other thing – they seem to be the family i would love to have, freakishly enough.

as for my other favourite books, new jess darling book out soon! we shall see what happens with her and marcus.

bloody hell

grr. i don’t care how solid ‘older homes’ are, they suck plain and simple!

opened one of the lounge windows when i got home yesterday to air out the house.

must have got windy at some point because i heard it slam shut. when i went to check it had a crack all the way across the glass pane. and it’s not a small pane.

stupid lightweight wooden frames.

just slightly off topic, how disgusted am i that the nats don’t support helping lower income owners and LLs to insulate their homes? seein as we sleep in a converted garage that obviously nobody bothered to insulate, we get mould around our windows, roof and lightly on our far wall.

will probably approach the LL about getting that looked at, although not sure how that will go down as the subsidy is only 60%. which is still awesome.

thoughts

it’s really interesting for me as a comms student to observe the different viewpoints of us, studying the media, and then seeing the other side of issues at work.

key example: austin hemmings. people were outraged and flooded the paper with emails about how disgusting and disgraceful it was to print a front page pic of the sheet covering his body with his shoes still visible. cold and harsh as it may sound, i didn’t feel a whole lot about it either way . i figured they were illustrating the story, it wasn’t a closeup, it’s all in the pursuit of truth, getting all the facts out and telling a story. of course i could understand why people were upset, i just didn’t particularly share their opinion.

then our tutor explained, in her unimitably intense way, that it was done because it was such a hideous, heinous crime – yes, it was there to shock, it was meant to make us feel ill to drive home the fact that this was random, unplanned and totally shocking.

i’ve tried, i’ve really tried to imagine how i would feel if it was a relative of mine who had been the body in that picture. how would i have felt? i honestly did not have a problem with it. i tried to imagine it under different circumstances. having been run over by a bus? shot in a robbery? murdered in cold blood? yes, in those situations i started to not feel so okay about it.

i think for me it was the fact that he would have died trying to help someone. that element of heroism. that made all the difference and was why i couldn’t quite agree with everyone who was completely outraged at the publication of that picture. like it or not.

photography

i was disgusted to have to pay alsost $15 for a roll of Ilford film, especially when I realised afterward that the Fuji was on special for around $6.

But you know what – after developing the roll and doing a contact sheet, it is so worth it! Ilford is frickin amazing. The difference is really evident; there’s so much more detail, tones, it’s insanely clear and sharp. It’s like nothing i’ve ever seen before!